Chest Pains

What if you lost your mother to a heart attack

And you feel a pain in your chest

Does this mean you should head to the ER

Or start going to a grief therapist?

What if you lost your mother to a heart attack

And your heart squeezes on a Sunday afternoon

While you're surrounded by your boyfriend's family

And the room becomes unsteady and Voices are too loud.

What if you lost your mother to a heart attack

And you remember she was 54 and you are 23,

And it seems like dying young is dying soon

And that is never fair at all.

What if you lost your mother to a heart attack

And you think about how powerless she probably felt

And you think about choosing between killing yourself and being killed

That anyone would choose to know the exact moment it all ends.

What if you lost your mother to a heart attack

And she died in a shower so now

Stepping into the shower feels like a death sentence

And while turning on the water you feel your blood rush.

What if you lost your mother to a heart attack

And you still find ways to enjoy your life

Despite sadness and frustration and fear

And you're no longer afraid to die.

What if you lost your mother to a heart attack

And your chest pains are deadly

What if you lost your mother to a heart attack

And your chest pains are benign

I'm still wondering.